Healing Hatred – Spiritual Counselling in Situations of Conflict

Years of violent conflict and the fear it engenders have left both Israelis and Palestinians emotionally and spiritually traumatized. Hatred of the ‘Other’ is regarded as a normal response to the ongoing situation. The growing racism within Israeli society is one example of the fallout of the distress engendered by the second intifada. On the Palestinian side, a sense of disillusionment with the leadership and the profound feeling of futility as the sides fail to show any sign of progress have led to a growing rejection of engagement with Israelis. Each side is increasingly isolated and embittered and this in turn only leads to the creation of further suspicion and fear.

Beginning in 2013, the Rossing Center partnered with the Hebrew Union College – Jewish Institute of Religion and the Holy Land Trust in Bethlehem to develop a language and practice, both literal and figurative, of pastoral care based on understanding of the religious component of health and healing, to help address the deep trauma experienced by Israelis and Palestinians of all faiths and of all backgrounds, as a result of living in an ongoing situation of violent conflict. Building on years of working in the field of interreligious dialogue, bringing together Israelis and Palestinians, Jews, Christians and Muslims, working with religious leaders, educators, women, youth and young adults, the Rossing Center and HLT have become aware of the need for a deeper level of dialogue and a more spiritual plane of healing for both individuals and society as a whole. One of the core pillars of the Holy Land Trust is the need for healing for both Palestinian and Israeli societies alike, both traumatized by the years of violent conflict.

After several pilot programs that began to address that need, we have brought together hundreds of Israelis and Palestinians, Jews, Christians and Muslims, over the last five years, for courses and weekend retreats.  Participants included both Arab and Jewish social workers, facilitators, religious leaders and youth workers from all over Israel and the Palestinian Authority. The feedback from participants and evaluators has been extremely positive, and the lessons learned have come together in a new model for dialogue in a region of political conflict – with the overall goal to heal trauma and reduce fear and hatred amongst Israelis and Palestinians, allowing them to engage in a genuine process towards a just and lasting peace. The core of this model is a conflict-centred version of the spiritual questionnaire originally developed by HUC as part of their pastoral care program.

There are three main differences between our new model and other dialogue practices:

1.Our model is designed to address precisely the core beliefs that we must confront if dialogue is to have a significant impact. Whereas many dialogue programs and other peace education projects skirt around the edges of the key issues, Healing Hatred concentrates on examining our most important convictions about ourselves and our society – our overwhelming sense of moral superiority; of victimhood; of the justification that we are only defending ourselves against enemies single-mindedly intent on our destruction; fear for our very survival, both as individuals and as a people.

2.Where in standard dialogue groups the emphasis is on listening to the Other to understand their point of view, and to create empathy for their situation, in the Healing Hatred process the emphasis is on self-examination. The process we have created for the group revolves around the use of a questionnaire, which requires each participant to share with the group their own dilemma concerning the conflict to promote their own personal growth. Over the course of the group process, the group learns to listen deeply and hears many different stories from many different perspectives. In this respect, the process has a lot in common with other forms of dialogue. However,

3.The dynamic created is completely different from existing dialogue models, and ground-breaking. The group listens deeply to the individual, but their reflections are designed to assist that individual – not to justify themselves. The dynamic of competitive suffering, or of arguing, or of each side becoming entrenched in their stance in opposition to the Other, is avoided. Rather, the dynamic is created of honest sharing, of empathy, of understanding, of healing.

This model is now being used in the framework of other Rossing Center programs, such as Meeting Place and the Ramle Open House, as well as in partnership with the Holy Land Trust in Bethlehem.